


Undeserved Cookies

by TheCasualAuthor



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Asthma, College, Cookies, Humor, Idiots, Illnesses, M/M, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Roommates, Skinny!Steve, asshole bucky, friends - Freeform, giggles, idk what to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-30
Updated: 2016-06-30
Packaged: 2018-07-19 07:48:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7352290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCasualAuthor/pseuds/TheCasualAuthor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky is still staring at the cookies. What has he done. Oh my god. This is humiliating.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Undeserved Cookies

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on tumblr! www.stuckysline.tumblr.com

Listen, Bucky’s done a lot of dumb shit in his life. It generally comes with his way of not thinking things through before he does them. It’s not like he means for it to end badly, but sometimes, cough a lot of the times, it does.

There was the time where he was 10, wanted a chocolate bar but didn’t have money, so he went down to the grocery, took a bar with him and promised to pay for it the next time he was there. It had seemed like a really good idea at the time, but he forgot about the part where the store employees didn’t know of his plan of paying later, or that they didn’t do buy now pay later.

Then there was the iconic time when he was fifteen and thought dressing up as his teacher Mrs. Patterson for Trick or Treating was smart, especially seeing as him and his friends went to her house for candy every year. Safe to say, she was not happy with his bird’s nest of a wig or glued on sharp chin that actually resembled her extremely well.

Well the list of dumb things Bucky has done just goes on and on, really. Nobody has time to get to the end of it. Point is; Bucky does dumb things. Often.

So, thing is, Bucky loves college. He’s only gone one year, so far, and it was freaking amazing. Sadly, his old roommate decided to transfer away from NYU, and Bucky had to get a replacement for his sophomore year. No biggie, Bucky had thought, most people at NYU seem pretty chill, his next roommate will probably be just as good as Dum Dum.

Or at least so Bucky had thought…. until he gets _The List_.

The List arrives in his mailbox exactly four days after roommates were announced. It is still two weeks until school starts, and Bucky has been enjoying his summer so far, looking forward to his second year. He has no idea that the envelope addressed for him is about to change that.

“Bucky, you’ve got a letter,” Rebecca says, throwing it distractedly at his chest as she walks by, caught up by her monthly subscription of some teen magazine. Bucky sits up from where he previously laid splayed out on the couch, and rubs at the slight kink in his neck.

“Huh,” Bucky says, not recognizing the handwriting (not that he would, he’s not very good with that sort of thing) or the return address. He’s careful to rip up the envelope, and pulls the contents out, a simple A4, covered in writing.

 

**Hello Bucky,**

**This is Steve Rogers writing, your roommate this year at NYU. I thought I should send you some kind of get-to-know-me letter, just so you know what’s up. I’m 18 and going to be a freshman and I’m majoring in art and minoring in literature. I suppose that tells I like both art and literature, haha. Well, I mostly sent this letter because… I have a few… guidelines, if you may, that I hope won’t bother you too much :-) Here they go:**

  
**\- No smoking**  
**\- Dust cleaning every day**  
**\- Windows closed in spring/summer**  
**\- No plants (fake ones are ok)**  
**\- Clean clothes after one use so not to catch odor**  
**\- No pets (please clean whatever you’re bringing thoroughly before taking it to the dorm if you’ve got pets at home, make sure you don’t have any fur residue on you)**  
**\- Refrigerator cleanout once a week to avoid any molding**  
**\- No perfumes or spray deodorants**  
**\- No foods rich in Sulfites (I can send you a list on those, if you want)**  
**\- Don’t play too loud music or such**

**Well, that should be it. I’ll tell you if there is anything else when we meet. Enjoy the rest of your break, excited to meet you in the fall.**

**Greetings,**  
**Steve**

Oh hell, fucking no. What sort of neat freak is this? No way in burning hell is Bucky putting up with this. Who does this guy think he is? If you have that much of a problem with humanity, stay at home. Bucky can’t believe the nerve on this kid, _sending a fucking letter_ with a fucking list of goddamn “guidelines”?!

Bucky puts the paper back into the envelope, folds it angrily and shoves it into his pocket. Then, he’s on his feet, phone in hand. He quickly dials Tony’s number, dramatically declaring that he’ll be coming over shortly.

 - - -

“No. Way.” Tony snorts. “Your roomie _actually_ sent you this?”

“Yes! Freaking shit, listen to the kid; ‘I mostly sent this letter because… I have a few… guidelines, if you may, that I hope won’t bother you too much’, and then a fucking smiley face like he doesn’t know how fucking insane he is! Oh shit, what if he doesn’t know? What if I’m stuck with a crazy hermit with his rules and guidelines for a whole year?”

“Chill, Barnes,” says Natasha, who’s also at Tony’s with them. “You can always ask for a switch,”

“Yes, after two weeks you can! What if he’s horrible and I have to deal with it for _two whole weeks_?!” Bucky whines and slumps into one of Tony’s bean bags. This is a disaster.

“I say, don’t worry Bucko,” Tony suddenly says, standing and puffing out his chest. “Because I just had _the idea of the century_ ,”

“Oh really,” Natasha says scathingly, but it seems to fly past Tony’s ears.

“How about,” Tony looks extremely excited now. “You send a list back!”

Now Bucky stands to, interested to see where this is going. “But I haven’t got anything freaky I want him to keep in mind,”

“No, but that doesn’t matter! You can make it up! Make your list even worse than his! That should teach him!”

“Guys—” Natasha tries, but neither of the boys hears her.

“That,” Bucky thinks for a moment. “Is the best fucking idea I’ve ever heard!”

“For fucks sake,” Natasha grumbles under her breath, then leaves, not interested in dealing with two overgrown children today.

 - - -

Tony finds a paper, a pen and an envelope and brings his tablet along to google crazy obsessions to help with Bucky’s fake roomie rules.

“Oh, you need to say you’re allergic to about everything.” Tony giggles.

“Smart,” Bucky says, popping the cap of the pen off. “Like…. Vegetables. Especially carrots!”

They sit there for a while, it probably takes a whole hour, but finally, Bucky thinks, proud of their work, the list is done.

“Alright, let’s go through it,” Tony says, picking it up, then reads loudly.

**Hello Steve,**

**It’s Bucky Barnes here, your school roomie :D I am absolutely delighted you sent me that list! Honestly, I was so, so worried about sending you mine, but now I feel like I don’t have to be… like maybe you understand. I can’t wait to meet you too, I think we’ll get along greatly, especially if you, like me, love fake plants, too! Anyway, here’s my set of guidelines:**

**\- I am deadly allergic to carrots**  
**\- And avocados**  
**\- And tomatoes**  
**\- I’m lactose intolerant (if I eat anything that’s touched dairy, big chance I die)**  
**\- I have celiac disease (same with gluten as with the dairy)**  
**\- Can’t have anything that’s touched a nut, my face and throat will swell like balloons**  
**\- Which reminds me, allergic to rubber/latex, be careful if you’ve got condoms laying around**

 **There might be more but these are the most important, I think. See ya at school, Steve.**  
**Love,**  
**Bucky**

Tony is full on laughing when he’s done reading and Bucky is, too.

“Oh my god, I especially love the ‘can’t have anything that’s touched a nut’,” Tony giggled and wipes tears from his eyes. He falls into a fit of laughter again when citing: “’Careful if you’ve got condoms laying around’,”

“It turned out good, didn’t it? I’ll have to go and post it so poor Steve-o gets it in time for school,” Bucky says and thanks Tony for the wonderful help before putting the letter in the envelope, licking it shut, writing on Steve’s address, and then taking off.

At the post office he buys a stamp and posts the letter. He can’t help but think he wants to see his roommate’s reaction when receiving a response-list. He probably hadn’t seen that coming, had he?

 - - -

“Have a good time, honey,” Bucky’s mother says and kisses Bucky’s cheek. She’s helped him carry his stuff to his room, and Bucky is ready for her to leave now. What he isn’t ready for, is meeting Steve. He can’t help but be worried that Steve will have realized the letter was a joke and is preparing to knock Bucky’s ass. Has happened before.

He sits on his bed and wipes his sweaty hands on his jeans, unable to think of anything else than Steve and when the stranger will arrive. He has probably sat there for ten minutes when he hears a key in the door, it unlocking and then opening. In walks a tall, muscly, black guy who looks like he definitely could kill Bucky with his arms, but his face seems friendly and nice enough.

“H-hey,” Bucky says uncertainly. “Steve, right?”

“Oh no, I’m Steve’s friend, Sam,” Sam puts the big box he’d been carrying down by Steve’s bed, and puts his hand out for Bucky to shake, an open and friendly smile on his face. “I’m just helping him out.”

“Bucky,” Bucky introduces, because shit, Steve’s got a muscly friend and Steve is probably just as muscly and Bucky’s gonna get killed. “Steve coming, or?”

“Yeah, he was just gonna go get his schedule and stuff,” Sam explains. “I’m gonna go get the other boxes.”

Bucky nods, sits back down, and watches as Sam grows slightly sweatier for each time he returns with a new box. He finally sits down when coming back with the fourth.

“And half of it’s just art stuff,” Sam complains, wiping his forehead on his sleeve. Bucky sits uncomfortably.

And then, finally, arrives Steve.

But Steve is nothing like Bucky had thought, and he doesn’t really know why he hadn’t figured Steve would look like this. Seeing Steve seems immediately to explain something to Bucky, a click going in his mind.

Because Steve is tiny, like the tiniest adult (is he even?) Bucky’s ever seen. He’s not only short, but extremely thin, as if his body only takes up half the fat a normal person’s does. He’s got gangly limbs and has a hearing aid in his goddamned ear. But Steve’s also got the brightest freaking smile Bucky has ever seen. And his eyes are a vivid blue and shining as if he’s seen the sun for the first time.

“Hullo!” Steve says, putting a small box down on his bed. “I’m Steve,”

“Uh,” Bucky says dumbly, because really, he’s so shocked right now? Like, it doesn’t even make sense for him to be, but he is and also Steve is the prettiest person Bucky has ever laid eyes on ever? “I’m, uh, Bucky,”

“Of course,” Steve grins. “You’ve met Sam? He’s my best friend. Thanks for helping with the boxes, man,”

“No problem, I owed you anyway, for all the coffee runs you’ve done for me,” Sam waves off Steve’s gratitude with a fond look in his eyes. Bucky only lets his gaze off the floor for seconds at a time.

“Only ‘cause I wanted to, Sam,” Steve smiles, Sam goes to stand.

“I have to go unpack my things, Steve,” he says. “See you two around?”

Steve gives his friend a bright smile and a nod, and Sam salutes them both before heading off.

“Oh! Bucky, by the way;”

Bucky looks up now, curious as to what Steve is gonna say. Steve goes and picks up the small box he had with him back up, and looks at Bucky a bit more shyly now.

“I really hope you can eat these, I made sure of all the allergies you mentioned in your letter,” Steve begins and Bucky’s already heart fucking melts. “Spent a week looking for a recipe, had to find something actually good, you know,”

Steve opens the box to reveal cookies, and they both look and smell delicious. How the hell Steve managed that with the extensive (and fake!!!!) list of allergies and whatnot, Bucky does not know. But oh shit, what has he done.

“It’s sort of a moving in present I guess,” Steve smiles shyly. “And a thanks for being so understanding with my list. I hate that I have to send one, but we seem to be sort of on the same boat, so,”

Bucky is still staring at the cookies. What has he done. Oh my god. This is humiliating. He was a fucking dickwad to Steve and he thought Steve would be one, too but he’s not and he made Bucky cookies appropriate for his non-existing allergies and he’s also so pretty and cute and kind and adorable.

“Do you like cookies?” Steve asks, unsure. “If not I can—”

“No, no! They’re great, they look great,” Bucky says miserably.

“It’s okay, Bucky, if they’re not ok then you don’t have to lie. I get it must be very difficult eating accordingly to those allergies, not knowing if the food in front of you is safe or not,” Steve rambles and he genuinely looks fine with Bucky not eating the cookies.

“No, I’m sure they’re fine, Steve,” Bucky starts, and this is it; he’s gotta tell Steve he lied because if he doesn’t he’ll have to put on this act all year long. Which he probably deserves for this anyway, but Steve, who doesn’t even know Bucky yet, looks so earnest and understanding and Bucky can’t lie to a face like that. “It’s just…”

“Yeah?”

“I….”

“What is it, Bucky?”

“I lied.” Bucky says very quickly. “It was a joke, my friend’s idea which doesn’t really matter cause I went along with it. I just thought it seemed like you were joking so I’d joke back or something and well you didn’t and here you are all nice and not crazy and I’m so sorry. Oh my god I am such a jackass I can’t believe how disrespectful—”

He breaks off his rambling when Steve breaks out in laughter. “Oh my gosh,” he wheezes out between giggles. He has to put the box of cookies down so not to drop them.

“Huh?”

“I can’t believe, out of all the reactions I could have gotten, you decided to make up an even shittier list than mine and send it. All the trouble you went through, oh my god,” Steve sounds extremely amused and Bucky feels his face fall into an unsure and confused smile.

“You aren’t angry?” he asks, bewildered.

“Nah, it’s fine. I figured the list would piss literally anyone off. I mean, it’s quite extensive,” Steve shrugs, then falls into giggles again.

“Your list is real, though?” Bucky wonders and Steve nods, still giggling.

“Yeah, got asthma and a weak immune system. It’s fine for the most part, just gotta be a bit more careful is all. Oh, and the no loud music is for the hearing aid, it reacts badly to it. I’m talking ear-blasting loud, though,”

“Oh,”

“Yeah,” Steve sighs. Then he giggles some more. Shit, he’s cute.

“Well, I’m still sorry. And I’ll keep saying that the whole semester. And the next. And I’ll be real nice following your rules to the point, too,”

Steve sobers up from his laugther; cheeks flushed and eyes teary. His breath seems to be coming shorter now, but he’s got his inhaler in hand and seems to have it under control. “That’s appreciated, really. Thanks,”

Bucky hesitates. “But you’re really not angry?”

“Honestly?” Steve quires. “I’m very relieved. Was worried you’d be a right hassle this year,”

Bucky’s jaw falls open and he gapes at the gangly blonde. “Punk,” he says, disbelievingly and his heart hops when Steve giggles again. The asthma guidelines are totally worth to be able to listen to the sound of those giggles throughout the year.

“You’ve got nothing to say, jerk,”

And truly, the dumb shit Bucky does has never led to something as beautiful as Bucky feels this is about to turn into. For once, he's glad he does dumb shit.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what this is? But I thought about cookies and that Steve is kind enough to bake for people he doesn't know and this just sort of wrote itself. Steve's list is based off this article on asthma and living with people who have it ( http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/15-things-remember-you-love-person-with-asthma.html ), and Bucky's list is honestly just bullshit because it was supposed to be. This isn't betaed, because I'm a noob and well.
> 
>  
> 
> Anyway, this was fun. Hope you liked it. Thanks for comments & kudos. Talk to you later :-)


End file.
